Tammy Bruce: Starbucks: Coffee or Crack?

Starbucks: Coffee or Crack?

Only in my town. But I completely understand. About the pastry part. Not about the naked part, or the burglary part or the rubber bullet part. (HT Defamer)

Naked man runs through Starbucks, eats pastries, gets shot by rubber bullets

At 5am this morning, a "drunken naked guy" used a sock full of rocks to shatter the glass on the front door, and stormed inside to eat "all the pastries". Police responded and found the guy running around the store, resisting arrest. He had feathers in his hair and an American flag... although it wasn't explained to me if this was a large or small flag, or where it was placed (or, perhaps, raised). The cops had to use rubber bullets and a beanbag shotgun to subdue him.

So, does this mean we can officially say that Starbucks is putting something extra into everything? Extra caffeine into coffee and whatever else into those pastries, which obviously prove the devil is good at baking. I bet the naked guy was probably some lawyer who began to jones for the low-fat cinnamon crumble coffee cake. I'm just guessing; I would have no personal knowledge of what that might drive a person to do. I suppose I've been lucky that when I needed a pastry the Starbuck's has been open.

For a while now, every time I go into a Starbuck's it reminds me of a scene in the film Indochine, when Catherine Deneuve goes to an opium den and gets really high because her young lover leaves her (insane fool!) for her not especially interesting adopted daughter. I mean, what's that about? Really.

What? Just because in the movie she's a beautiful, French, controlling, crack (opium) whore-ish sort of land-owner colonist? And?

I would say, if I had to choose three Deneuve films as my favorites, they would be: The Last Metro, The Hunger and Indochine.

And while Deneuve could be described alternately as a 'tart' or 'muffin' or maybe even 'sweetie-pie' by those in the know, the term 'Pumpkin Cheese Muffin' would never apply. Therefore, if I had to choose, my three Starbuck's pastry favorites are: the Heath Bar Brownie bar thingy, the Blueberry Muffin, and the little Brownie Bite. Several of those at the same time, actually. 'Little' is the operative word there.

That said, I need to get back to my coffee.

Posted by Tammy · September 27, 2006 04:11 PM · Permalink
Babes | Cultural Commentary | Food/Drink | Hollywood/Films

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://tammybruce.com/mt/pings.cgi/1014

Comments

Careful not to spill any coffee on that crisp white linen shirt.

Then again...

Posted by: The Ugly American at September 27, 2006 05:12 PM

I wore the (favorite color here) apron for a few years and have witnessed much strange and compulsive behavior. Customers can become completely unhinged when their favorite pastry, syrup, coffee blend or barista is not available. One woman had to be removed by police when the customer directly in front of her got the last Pumpkin Scone. She screamed about her important meetings and her psychological addiction to the scones and threatened everyone in the store with death. Death AND lawsuits. Talk about high maintenance.

And there are always venti-tummied middle aged men jonesing for the college barista cuties. One miracle cure is the sweet request for a phone number, promptly dialed by an angry-looking manager. The few wannabee stud muffins who don't leave pronto, stay only long enough to beg or snatch back the paper with the phone number.

Posted by: AskMom at September 27, 2006 08:15 PM

So this is what it comes to. Guess we shouldn't be too surprised with Bill Clinton's behavior at Starbucks after his complete breakdown with Chris Wallace this past weekend.

I suppose a Starbucks pastry is worth that sort of trouble, too, when you have no time to collect your wallet & clothing from the mistress's place, and Hillary is looking for you.

Posted by: artgal at September 27, 2006 10:20 PM

I would hate to spill my coffee while naked. What little I have, I don't want burned.

I'm a Southener. I get my coffee and pastries at my local convenience store.

Posted by: cabgx2 at September 28, 2006 06:25 AM

Ah, Starbucks. I love the baristas' ingo; it's a throwback to the old diners, where waitresses would yell "two eyeballs over on a shingle, kill the hog" -- i.e., two eggs over easy with toast and bacon.

Now the mixes people demand are so individual, it's hard to keep up. "Skinny vente, half-caf" is probably the most common...

I make scones (better than Starbucks does), though I don't eat them anymore. But I can't touch their coffee. It really is the best.

And you reminded me of "The Last Metro" ... wonderful. Absolutely. Another one to add to my "To Buy" list, if I can find it on DVD.

Posted by: Dymphna at September 28, 2006 06:36 AM

I would like to thank you all for eating those expensive SBUX pastries and coffees because I own stock in SBUX. Next time I watch a Deneuve movie I will have a muffin and buy some more stock.

Posted by: SteveOk at September 28, 2006 08:16 AM

Wow! I don't eat pastries myself, but I sure do love Starbucks coffee and have often wondered what is really in it. Anyone catch Glenn Beck last evening? How about that new drink, Cocaine? Let's all get high the legal way! Hooray, just thinking about it puts me in a whirl. Imagine - triple the caffeine in one delicious, mind-zooming drink! I hope some dimwit doesn't come up with the "There oughta be a law" thingee. I like it that a concerned citizen is starting an education campaign and then we can "vote in the marketplace."
ariamia

Posted by: ariamia at September 28, 2006 10:07 AM

*$s has the best coffee out there. I buy their whole beans and grind them at home. They're popularity is well deserved.

Posted by: helpunderdog at September 28, 2006 08:49 PM

By Category

By Month

Starbucks: Coffee or Crack?

Trackback Pings

Comments

Post a comment