Tammy Bruce: As Long As They Don't Cut Caffeine

As Long As They Don't Cut Caffeine

And I thought they were putting crack in everything, and it turns out just to be "trans fats." Now they're going to cut the trans fats, but only in the stores in the big cities, including mine. You know I'm not a person who believes in conspiracy theories (unless people are really out to get me), but isn't it weird that they're doing this in major cities where we all will now need to buy two of everything to get the crack, er, fat that we need?

It's clearly all a big ruse by Big Business to get more money, more control, and more muffins into the muffintops. Really now, what exactly will a Snickers Heath Bar pastry thingy taste like with less trans fat? Well, not good. So not good, you'll have to eat them all to get them out of your sight.

Starbucks cuts trans fats in half of U.S. stores

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Pastries and other foods sold at half of Starbucks Corp.'s U.S. outlets will be free of artery-clogging trans fats starting this week, a spokesman for the coffee shop chain said on Tuesday...The move makes Starbucks the latest in a string of U.S. restaurant chains to remove trans fats from its menu. Spokesman Brandon Borrman said the foods at all of its U.S. stores would be free of trans fats by later this year. [A ha! I knew it! "Borrman." Isn't that a Nazi name?--ed].

Beginning on Wednesday, everything from muffins to sandwiches at Starbucks outlets in Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Diego, Boston, New York, Philadelphia, and Washington D.C. will be free of trans fats, Borrman said.

Isis help us all.

Posted by Tammy · January 2, 2007 04:07 PM · Permalink
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Hey, you're in luck! Thus far, Tucson Starbucks shops are still trans-fat-crack laden and full-flavored. We will gladly keep you stocked with an assortment of Starbucks goods now on the black market for your area. But don't tell another soul. There is not enough for everybody. Of course, there very well may be a small fee involved... ;)

Posted by: artgal at January 2, 2007 06:37 PM

I wonder how in the world I made it to 39 eating trans-fats, sucking down sodas when I was a teenager and inhaling my Mom's old aerosol hair spray. Thank goodness the health police are now firmly in charge - I just might make it to 40 now.

Posted by: PeteRFNY at January 2, 2007 09:29 PM

Well I'm not worried. I remember the days before cookies, crackers, cakes and chips had trans fats, which could only be found in margarine and Crisco. Our processed foods were all dripping with delicious, nutritious coconut oil, and then it got a bad rep for being saturated fat, and was taken out of everything and replaced by trans fats. But now the tables have turned, and trans fats are the evil heart-stopping bad guys, and coconut oil is sold in health food stores at fancy prices. All the manufacturers have to do is switch back, and when we are all once again wallowing in coconut oil, the world will be a better place. Kind of like it was when chocolate went from being a zit-making bad fat to being a powerful antioxidant with complexion enhancing properties.

Posted by: nellE at January 3, 2007 09:30 PM

You know things are getting out of hand when the Los Angeles's landmark and 76-year-old restaurant (in a town where something from the 50's is considered ancient,) El Coyote, is now promoting "No Trans Fats!" in neon highlights on their menu.

Of course...that says nothing about saturated fats, and their chips taste like they are still fried the good old-fashioned way: in lard.

Posted by: Ann at January 5, 2007 12:38 PM

In response to others on here, I think there are legitimate health concerns with both saturated and trans fats. They should be treated differently, however. Saturated fats are alright in moderation. They can contribute to heart disease if you take in too much. I've heard from two sources, both with medical knowledge and experience, that trans fats are bad because they are "foreign" to your body. Your body doesn't know what to do with them. I didn't know it was artery clogging, but it did sound bad just generally. It did sound like something that should either be banned or only allowed in small amounts. I avoid them, personally. Trans fats are stuff like hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated oils. You see it most often in cookies and candy bars. Traditional margarine is a classic example--pure hydrogenated oil. Cookie and candy manufacturers used to use natural fats in their recipes. The problem was they had a limited shelf life. They'd go rancid after a while. Maybe this was improved with preservatives--another bogey man from the past... Hydrogenated oils have a much longer shelf life, without preservatives. This helped lower costs of production, so naturally they became more popular. And with all the concerns way back when about saturated fats, it was an easy sell.

It's possible to get bread spreads that don't have hydrogenated oils, though they're more likely to have saturated fat of some kind, like palm oil. Hey, they gotta substitute something, right? There are the healthy spreads that have neither saturated nor trans fats, but they're an acquired taste.

Posted by: piboulder at January 5, 2007 11:30 PM

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