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When wild, paranoid leftists attack (and get delusional) they see not dead people, but racists. Everywhere. In everything. Always. The instance at hand, Patterico filets a rather amusing paranoid rant from the Left complaining about the Raaaaaacism! in my Cracker Jack/Raccoon

post just after the Urkel Nobel Trinket announcement. That post, of course, followed my main commentary on the Nobel Joke Prize noting that I, too, had just won, finding my trinket in a Cracker Jack box.

Sadly, No! Sees the RACISMS!! in Tammy Bruce’s Photo of Her Pet

Some fringe leftists enjoy nothing better than to accuse conservatives of racism. It makes them feel very tingly with self-righteousness, and that is a great feeling to many a fringe leftist. The presidency of Barack Obama has been a banner time for such folk…

The headline of that post: “Breaking: Nobel Committee Announces Another Peace Prize Winner.”

Cute, huh?

Not to D. Aristophanes from Sadly, No, who encountered Tammy’s post during an evening troll through the conservative blogosphere, doing what fringe leftists do best — looking high and low for any and all evidence of racism by conservatives.

And look! He found a picture of a raccoon! And you know what happens when you shorten the word “raccoon”!!!!!

And so, damn the research! To hell with looking up the easily-found information cited above about Tammy’s pet raccoon. Why bother reading her previous post, in which she compares the Nobel Peace Prize to the prize in a box of Cracker Jacks? Aristophanes skips all that overrated Googling and heads straight to spittle-flecked howling cries of RACISM!!!!

Yes, that’s right. You see, if you take off the first part of the word, twirl around three times singing “Mmm, mmm, mmm, Barack Husssein Obama”, and then erase the additional ‘c’, bow twice to the left, you get the word, wait, let’s make sure we do this right, okay: you get the word “coon.”

Patterico is right regarding my raccoon Rocky, who is old now and rather rotund, but he is not the raccoon in the picture. I’ve seen Rocky tucked into a can of cat food, but alas, never engrossed in Cracker Jack. I can just imagine the liberal head assplosions had I used a pic of the local skunk going through my recycling bin! Admittedly, one freaking liberal blogger with paranoid delusions about raccoons does not an entire group make, but this was funny enough to expound upon.

I will now admit: both Cracker Jack posts were meant as smears–of southern whites. I mean, come on now, how many posts does a girl need to make with the word “Cracker” in it to get noticed?!

And now as a favor to every Obama Zombie out there scratching through the conservative blogosphere looking for the Raaaaacism! they see in everything anyway, here’s a heads up: tomorrow on Tammy Radio I pledge to play “Paint It Black” by the Rolling Stones.

Yes, I know that’s risky–a white boy band singing a song with the word “black” in it, but I’ll take my chances. Just for affect, I might add in Amy Winehouse’s “Back to Black.” Yes, Courage is my middle name!

Oh, and after all this, a heart-felt thank you to the Zombie who sees Raaaacism! in raccoons. The extra traffic has been delightful.

Now everybody get ready. The next controversy, those cute furry, but sorta brownish yet dreaded…Chipmunk!!!!

UPDATE:

Patterico makes note of my Cracker confessional. Yes, he knew it.

The Dandelion has a normal, non-paranoid, sense of humor.

Grand Rants notes It’s Not Always Raaaaacism! (Except When It Is) And in this case, it’s not.

And Teh Resistance looks to be one of the first to put Raccoon delusions in perspective. With Cartman’s help of course.

And last but not least, the ever-predictable leftist gestapo Media Matters has decided RaccoonGate deserves to be listed among the other Thought Crimes they have assigned to me. Hahahahahaha!