Don’t worry, I have a plan for Tammy Radio. Considering no one in Washington seems to have one clue what’s going on in the country when it comes to the Twenty Million Amigos, I figure we can get away with adding three more.

Don, Tammy, and Nikki

Don, Moi, et Nikki (photoshop un cadeau de Kim)

Oops, that’s French. But since English isn’t an important amnesty issue, I suppose any language will do. And as Prozac would note anyway, Whatever.

Speaking of amigos, here’s an email from a fellow that’s been making its way around the internet. It’s a letter to his senator asking how to turn in his American citizenship to become “illegal.” This is a reaction to the senate’s amnesty bill from last year, when the ‘pay back taxes’ concept was still around. Now with that removed at the urging of President Bush, there’s even more incentive for all of us to want to become an Undocumented Amigo.

Becoming Illegal

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator in 2006)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building Phone (202) 224 3254 Washington DC 20510

Dear Senator Harkin:

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from US Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as “instate” tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent, Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA

Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service
1-800-289-1040.

Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer!!!!

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3 Comments | Leave a comment
  1. Rod says:

    La Shawn Barber http://www.lashawnbarber.com/
    Chronicles her 4 year history of fighting the liberal liar in the White House on his proposed mass pardoning of criminals. She thought the battle was done but since Bus got the Dems in control of both houses last year she now seem to feel the battle is actually lost.

    I will give my liberal President credit for being tenacious. He has fought and fought hard for 5 years to get this mass pardon made into law. It looks like he has finally won. Of course it means that America has lost.
    I almost think I should have voted for JFK in 04. It now seems that he had the most integrity; which is not much given W’s zero (0).

  2. helpunderdog says:

    An interesting article, “Inside New Bedford Factory”, describes the after conditions of the Michael Bianco leather factory that was raided back in March for hiring illegals.
    http://www.wbur.org/news/2007/66836_20070502.asp
    “There are lot of things we could do to get non-immigrants in here…like raise wages exhorbitantly. But of course we wouldn’t get any
    contracts and there wouldn’t be any work.”

    Hmmm, work for illegals you mean? The company only employs immigrants.
    It appears that the only way to get government contracts is to pay subhuman wages. The only way to exploit humans is to hire illegals. The only way to get illegals is if they come from 3rd world countries. Hey, I’ve got an idea, why not set up shop in a 3rd world country instead?! This way you wouldn’t encourage the illegal arrival of a slave class here who then abuse middle-class taxpayer funded government programs! Who wouldn’t bring 3rd world notions of criminality and hygiene. Or how about paying wages Americans can live on? I bet the cost savings of hiring illegals is not passed on to the consumer/government but pocketed by slimeball company owners. The government surely would favor Made-in-America products over cheaper products made in Asia or Mexico. The government has no problem setting aside contracts for minority businesses, why not preferential treatment for companies that pay fair wages and hire Americans?!

  3. I’ve decided to take a bold step forward and give up my driver’s license and my auto insurance.
    I would like to become an “undocumented driver”.
    Using my undocumented driver status I should be able to drive about without concern for local laws and not have to worry about the burden of oppressive insurance payments.

    Since I drive a Fiat I am only driving a car that most Americans don’t want.

    Sounds about as reasonable as amnesty

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