A post by Maynard

With Tammy making plans to take the show down the road to Las Vegas and follow up on OJ’s latest adventures, I’m wondering what recreations we can recommend to her. Other than the plentiful gambling and shopping and shows, of course. Here are a few eclectic notions:

Take a flight in a space plane. Zero G will take you up in a cavernous airplane, which will then do parabolic (free fall) maneuvers so you can experience a few minutes of weightlessness. It’s unreasonably expensive ($3,675), but might be an interesting interlude for those with money to burn. The promotional videos show delighted people flying effortlessly through the air like birds, but I suspect the reality is less idyllic: More likely most will be flailing violently, and some will be screaming in terror, while others are puking their guts out. This little adventure is being marketed through Sharper Image.

(“Weightlessness” sounds so graceful, but in fact the sensation is that of falling like a rock. It’s like on a roller coaster where it goes straight down. Consider that the people on the space shuttle and the space station are subjected to this 24/7. It takes some getting used to.)

A “poor man’s version” of the Zero-G thing might be a visit to the FlyAway. I tried this once, many years ago. You dress up in a baggy jumpsuit and stroll over a vertically-mounted aircraft propeller and try to do an impression of The Flying Nun. A cute notion, but it doesn’t work very well. No wonder Sally Field morphed into a moonbat.

Ah! Now here’s a “Tammy” thing! In Nevada, you can rent a machine gun! Lots of fun for tourists, especially from abroad where the citizens are treated even more like children than we are. Here’s a video from one of various shooting ranges showing off their wares. (I know nothing about this particular store, so I’m not recommending it; I just found their video.)

Of course you can venture north across the county line to Pahrump and buy fireworks.

Finally…Maybe I’m easily amused, but I find it interesting just to page through the Las Vegas Yellow Pages. As I recall, there were two huge categories, covering literally hundreds of pages, with endless display advertisements. Can you guess? One was “Entertainers” and the other was “Attorneys”. The attorneys I could do without, but I was encouraged to see the pleas from all those people who wanted nothing more than to come to my room and entertain me. Note that prostitution is not legal in Clark County, so there is a limit to how entertaining the visit can be. (No, I didn’t have any particular interest in actually engaging an “entertainer”; I just habitually look through the local phonebook to get a flavor of a place.)

Some of those HBO Taxicab Confessions shows have been taped in Las Vegas. I found them to be a disturbing and intriguing peek at a bit of sin city’s seamy underside.

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5 Comments | Leave a comment
  1. Nations Girl says:

    Maynard, while I think your recreational suggestions are creative and adventuresome, I think what Tammy will need after a long hard day of setting the world straight is a nice, cool MERMAID SHOW!

    “Under the sea, under the sea
    Darling it’s better down where it’s wetter
    Take it from me
    Up on the shore they work all day
    Out in the sun they slave away
    While we’re devoting full time to floating
    Under the sea, ha ha…”

  2. helpunderdog says:

    2 places I always go to when in Vegas:
    1. The Paris hotel seafood buffet
    2. The replica of Bavaria’s Hofbrauhaus.

  3. I do so love Vegas

    We were just out there last month, stayed at the Imperial Palace (possibly for the last time, Harrah’s has designs on the building) and would highly recommend a visit across the street to the Mirage and the dolphin center (it’s actually called “Seigfried and Roy’s Secret Garden” and there are ample big cats to look at too), I particularly liked going downstairs to see the dolphins from underneath through the glass. It’s like being aboard the Seaview.
    $15 well spent.
    And if you are a car nut like I am take in the Car Collection at the IP. For $7 you can look at some terrific wheels.

    Finally there’s one thing I didn’t get to do this time but it’s on the docket for May, a visit to the Atomic Testing Museum over on East Flamingo Rd. over by Paradise http://atomictestingmuseum.org/
    I’d love to try out the machine guns too sometime!
    Don’t forget downtown, it’s not as cool as it was in the 60’s but it’s about the last place in town that still has the old style lights!
    I am most disappointed with the lack of and loss of lights on the strip where they are building all the new condos.
    I tried to get a picture of the sign at the Frontier before they tear it down but it was too dark. However I did get a shot of the old LaConcha sign that was buried for years under a square sign.

    Vegas is still a great place to hang out and have a mart and just remember the days when Frank and Dean roamed the town.

  4. MitchM says:

    I bought my Glock 30 at the Discount Gun Store and they have good prices and a nice staff. Haven’t fired anything fully auto there though. Nice clean establishment that caters to a lot of law enforcement. A SWAT officer recommended them to me. Tammy, if you read this then drop me a line via Sondra and when you are in Vegas we could do lunch. Maybe Chinese? Ha!

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