When wild, paranoid leftists attack (and get delusional) they see not dead people, but racists. Everywhere. In everything. Always. The instance at hand, Patterico filets a rather amusing paranoid rant from the Left complaining about the Raaaaaacism! in my Cracker Jack/Raccoon

post just after the Urkel Nobel Trinket announcement. That post, of course, followed my main commentary on the Nobel Joke Prize noting that I, too, had just won, finding my trinket in a Cracker Jack box.

Sadly, No! Sees the RACISMS!! in Tammy Bruce’s Photo of Her Pet

Some fringe leftists enjoy nothing better than to accuse conservatives of racism. It makes them feel very tingly with self-righteousness, and that is a great feeling to many a fringe leftist. The presidency of Barack Obama has been a banner time for such folk…

The headline of that post: “Breaking: Nobel Committee Announces Another Peace Prize Winner.”

Cute, huh?

Not to D. Aristophanes from Sadly, No, who encountered Tammy’s post during an evening troll through the conservative blogosphere, doing what fringe leftists do best — looking high and low for any and all evidence of racism by conservatives.

And look! He found a picture of a raccoon! And you know what happens when you shorten the word “raccoon”!!!!!

And so, damn the research! To hell with looking up the easily-found information cited above about Tammy’s pet raccoon. Why bother reading her previous post, in which she compares the Nobel Peace Prize to the prize in a box of Cracker Jacks? Aristophanes skips all that overrated Googling and heads straight to spittle-flecked howling cries of RACISM!!!!

Yes, that’s right. You see, if you take off the first part of the word, twirl around three times singing “Mmm, mmm, mmm, Barack Husssein Obama”, and then erase the additional ‘c’, bow twice to the left, you get the word, wait, let’s make sure we do this right, okay: you get the word “coon.”

Patterico is right regarding my raccoon Rocky, who is old now and rather rotund, but he is not the raccoon in the picture. I’ve seen Rocky tucked into a can of cat food, but alas, never engrossed in Cracker Jack. I can just imagine the liberal head assplosions had I used a pic of the local skunk going through my recycling bin! Admittedly, one freaking liberal blogger with paranoid delusions about raccoons does not an entire group make, but this was funny enough to expound upon.

I will now admit: both Cracker Jack posts were meant as smears–of southern whites. I mean, come on now, how many posts does a girl need to make with the word “Cracker” in it to get noticed?!

And now as a favor to every Obama Zombie out there scratching through the conservative blogosphereRolling-Stones-Paint-It-Black-57812 looking for the Raaaaacism! they see in everything anyway, here’s a heads up: tomorrow on Tammy Radio I pledge to play “Paint It Black” by the Rolling Stones.

Yes, I know that’s risky–a white boy band singing a song with the word “black” in it, but I’ll take my chances. Just for affect, I might add in Amy Winehouse’s “Back to Black.” Yes, Courage is my middle name!

Oh, and after all this, a heart-felt thank you to the Zombie who sees Raaaacism! in raccoons. The extra traffic has been delightful.

Now everybody get ready. The next controversy, those cute furry, but sorta brownish yet dreaded…Chipmunk!!!!



Patterico makes note of my Cracker confessional. Yes, he knew it.

The Dandelion has a normal, non-paranoid, sense of humor.

Grand Rants notes It’s Not Always Raaaaacism! (Except When It Is) And in this case, it’s not.

And Teh Resistance looks to be one of the first to put Raccoon delusions in perspective. With Cartman’s help of course.

And last but not least, the ever-predictable leftist gestapo Media Matters has decided RaccoonGate deserves to be listed among the other Thought Crimes they have assigned to me. Hahahahahaha!

This section is for comments from tammybruce.com's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Tammy agrees with or endorses any particular comment just because she lets it stand.
29 Comments | Leave a comment
  1. IloiloKano says:

    “both Cracker Jack posts were meant as smears–of southern whites”

    But I thought you liked me.

    : (

    • Tammy says:

      I was being facetious my darling. I more than like you, I love you :X

      • IloiloKano says:

        Okay then. I’m all cried out now anyway. Snif.

        For Tammy Radio, how ’bout paying AC/DC’s Back In Black to really cause a Libtard Conniption fit? It even contains a reference to a noose, so that should drive them even further off the deep end.

        Back in black
        I hit the sack
        I’ve been too long I’m glad to be back [I bet you know I’m…]
        Yes, I’m let loose
        From the noose
        That’s kept me hanging about
        I’ve been looking at the sky
        ‘Cause it’s gettin’ me high
        Forget the hearse ’cause I never die
        I got nine lives
        Cat’s eyes
        Abusin’ every one of them and running wild
        ‘Cause I’m back
        Yes, I’m back
        Well, I’m back
        Yes, I’m back
        Well, I’m back, back
        (Well) I’m back in black
        Yes, I’m back in black

    • RuBegonia says:

      Thank u for clarification on the “C” word – had to look that one up. Sheltered life in my doghouse?

  2. […] Bruce confesses the racism in her post with the raccoon searching for the prize in the box of Cracker Jacks: I will […]

  3. lord-ruler says:

    All I thought about all weekend was a racoon eating cracker jacks. A liberal looks at the page and see’s racism. Alan colmes tweeted about a black woman who got beat up by a white man while going into a Cracker Barrel Restraunt. She should have known before entering such a place. For that Reason I stay away from Black Angus Restraunts. (some people call it by another name but I will Refrain)

  4. NickCaggiano says:

    Hey Tammy! I put the raccoon pic up on my facebook on Friday because it was the funniest thing I saw that day. Within minutes, uber liberal friends of mine kept commenting on how the picture was not just ignorant, but completely racist! I never even thought that, just that it was a really funny picture realting to Obama winning the prize. I couldn’t believe it! I tried explaining it, but they wouldn’t listen. I eventually took the pic down, because I couldn’t stand logging in and being accused of being racist everytime. Thanks for this post though, it made my day! 🙂

  5. jiaconis says:

    How bout a song from Lynyrd Skynyrd “The Ballad of Curtis Lowe” did you know that Curtis was a black man…

  6. daredevilaccordian says:

    Whenever I buy him a new pack of real fur mouse toys, my cat always tears up the black mouse first. He’s a gray tabby cat with black and white stripes. Do you think he’s racist? True story.

  7. daredevilaccordian says:

    Oh, I forgot to mention, he’s against the public option and he goes nutbag crazy whenever there are raccoons outside in the backyard…

  8. radargeek says:

    ‘Till next time…
    Will it be…
    The sick freak leftists project their racism on an innocent person.
    Who you calling “Cracker!!”

  9. radargeek says:

    And, what do you mean by “X?”

  10. va bill says:

    Michael Savage is right. Liberalism is a mental disorder.

  11. aliencats says:

    Wow! I am not sure what else to say. When did we become so hypersensitive? I am still at a loss as to how a racoon with his cute little hand in a cracker jack box is racist. The more “political correct’ we become, the more irritatingly stupid we became. –collectively, not individually.

  12. thierry says:

    oh, for washbears’ sake!-utterly absurd and given the pathetic state of discourse concerning o’ bambi, the black messiah, i am not shocked. they weren’t so upset about ‘ coded racist words’ when liberals were calling condi rice directly aunt jemima because that was, what, truth to power? or calling colin powell the ‘house n’ word’. that was all just the truthhhhhhh!!!!!! “we have the truth and everyone else is a racist or an uncle tom who doesn’t agree with us.”

    code words and now code photos of cute cuddly cracker jack eating critters- they’re on to you, bruce…. and unlike urkel apparently they found a dictionary proving it all….

    but i knew people exactly like this- and it was nearly always guilt or projection or a gross super sized happymeal of both going on .they were always condescending little snots about it and nearly always always always the biggest pieces of molly coddled mid to upper middle class white bread. i lost count of the times some arrogant usually straight white man or WASPy smarty pants college girl thought they were going to school me-with my poor, mixed race family living in the damn ghetto- about all my unconscious ‘racisms’ and other non pc thoughts.( the best was being corrected about the use of the word ‘Black’ when it was said as someone’s actual last name. they’re such racists, you know ,for not changing their surname to African-American.) this is exactly why i got as far away from the left as possible- and if you’re teh ghey that’s generally a really lonely place because the majority sound like this superior whiny wanker.

  13. Maynard says:

    Tammy, when you said raccoons were getting a bad rap, you didn’t mean anything racial by that, did you?

  14. Carol says:

    Speaking of critters, I saw a possum outside my door last night, a big one, not so cute. Should’ve gotten a picture..
    Rush did call it the Rosie Odonnell flu on his Monday show. I don’t listen to him enough to remmember if he’s used that reference before. He was catching flak from pork producers (not Congress, pig farmers) for saying pig flu. He did not want to go through the trouble of pronouncing H1N1, so he came up with the other name. I don’t get the impression you care much for him. So I hope I’m not insulting when I say you both have a similar sense of humor, the often sarcastic and corny kind that I enjoy.

  15. CO2aintpoison says:

    Maynard = ROFLMAO!! So hey, Tammy – what do you have against Chipmunks – what, now you have a problem with Monks. Look, someone has to speak for those guys – they’re not allowed to speak, right. Whatever, maybe I have them mixed up with Chimpmonks. HAHAHAHAH what a bunch of lib drivvel. I wonder how many of them see the Once in their Cherrios – but I don’t want to give Cherrios a bad name – they are quite tasty. Geez-louise.

  16. trevy says:

    As a Southern White Redneck, I think it’s “Gay” that you would insult me like that!

    You hurt my feeling! And my self-esteem! And all that sorta stuff!

  17. jnarcus says:

    SIlly me. I thought when you shortened the word raccoon what you got was “RAC” ( as in she’s got a great rack). But then being a Tammy fan that’s just the way I think

  18. OnlyMe says:

    ALVIN LEE of Ten Years After

    I’d Love To Change the World


    Here is a song of what the liberals are all about. 🙂

  19. Tinker says:

    I can’t believe no one has commented on the fact that the raccoon is stuffed, and I mean literally, not stuffed with Cracker Jacks. Poor thing. But I guess if the Lefty Loons had noticed, they would accuse Tammy of more than racism.

    I have all kinds of raccoons that come to eat at my house, some are really huge! and I love them.

  20. aliencats says:

    Tammy, my bubble has been burst. I did not realize I was racist, but I must be. I am the proud owner of a Maincoon cat name Bishop (after the android on Aliens)

  21. animalfarm says:

    The left is responding to critiques of Obama with baseless and childlike taunts of racism because they’re at a loss on how to respond intelligently. A bully resorts to personal attacks when he doesn’t have the facts to support his position. This is a shameful attempt to silence critics and confuse the issue. Instead of constructive conversation on how to solve problems while addressing valid concerns, they try to jam through their solution without discussion and cloud any questions with baseless charges of racism. They don’t care if they ratchet up of racial tensions or hurt the innocent – like Jesse Jackson, it’s a shakedown for money and power, consequences be damned.

  22. CO2aintpoison says:

    jnarcus – nice! When I think of a great ‘rac’ – I think of a nice 12-pointer which I harvested with my bow sitting in a deer stand (weird that….”sitting” in a “stand”)….anyway I digress; being a female myself – don’t get the chance to shed much hunting humor (Sarah would get it though!). Meat in the freezer. Meat in the freezer! Yum Yum.

  23. Maynard says:

    I have crossed swords with raccoons in previous days, and I lament my hot temper. These days I do not seek discord. But they make a point of climbing onto my roof to dump their load. I just went up and found a mountain of raccoon sh*t. What a disgusting mess to clean up! I’m still reeling. Raccoons are evil. I bet they voted for Obama.

    • morecowbell says:

      Maynard is right. They are a patient and clever foe, brazen and vindictive, my encounters with Khan proved this true. In the end you must pay them homage or face countless humiliating late night defeats half dressed and holding a rake in your own backyard. Cat food and garbage are what they demand…. always cat food and garbage…….KHANNN!

  24. […] Cynthia, who also links troublemaker Tammy Bruce, who is a racist because she has a pet raccoon rather than a pet […]

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