Questionable observations by Maynard

I had a sense of déjà vu as I perused the reports of government assaults becoming SOP for vacation travels. Where have we heard this before?

And then I remembered! Disney characters!

A few years ago, Tigger was accused of fondling a young lady. He was subsequently acquitted of any criminal wrongdoing. (Videos of the incident, which I recall seeing (linked by Drudge at the time!), seem to have been excised from the Internet. Such is the power of The Mouse™)

This article notes that the same Tigger, transposed to a Goofy suit, was subsequently accused of “shoving” (is that what they call it?) a female photographer in the chest. It also reports that Winnie the Pooh was charged in a similar attack in 1981. Not to mention…

In 1976, a women filed a lawsuit claiming one of the Three Little Pigs ran up to her at the “It’s a Small World” attraction, grabbing at and fondling her, it supposedly exclaimed “Mommy! Mommy!” As a result, she claimed to have gained 50 pounds, seeking $150,000 in damages for assault and battery, false imprisonment, and humiliation.

Well, they may be Disney characters, and they may be little, but they’re still pigs. Even so, I hope this gal didn’t collect in court. I’ll side with pigs over lawyers any day.

Another Tigger incident gained national exposure when the character was caught on video punching a kid. The biased lamestream news report makes Tigger look like the bad guy, but this YouTube video breaks it down, hinting darkly that Tigger was set up.

But wait, there’s more! Here you can watch Tigger steal a lady’s purse. And in this video you’ll see a child running for his life from a rampaging Pluto. Somebody give that pooch a rabies shot!

What does all this mean? Darned if I know! Could be an evil conspiracy of crazed Disney characters. I mean, someone’s gotta be a bit kooky to take that job in the first place. Or at least that was the case in a good economy; these days even Maynard might contemplate putting on a Goofy suit. But I will note that being inside a full-body Disney costume places extreme restrictions on vision and motion, so one must allow a certain latitude for clumsy accidents.

By the way, you remember the recent flap when Disneyland was sued to allow a Muslim woman to wear a headscarf? Seems to me the solution to the complaint would be to allow modest employees to transfer to costume division. Let ’em cover up in a Minnie Mouse helmet, and underneath that you can wear the headscarf or go starkers for all anyone knows. Consider such haberdashery to be the Americanized version of the burqa. What reasonable person could possibly object to that resolution?

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  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tammy Bruce and MirCat, PalinPromotions. PalinPromotions said: Invasive Vacations: Questionable observations by Maynard I had a sense of déjà vu as I perused the reports of go… […]

  2. TheresaMC says:

    Just wait till people start sueing TSA after being traumatised at the airport. This should be happening anyday now.

  3. thierry says:

    when i was a child, i found adults dressed in costumes absolutely terrifying. my parents gave up on the whole picture with santa thing because i was seen screaming in every single photo every year.

    and after the john wayne gacy aka “pogo the clown”… well… it’s even more creepy. to think i was more aware at 4 years old that placing a child in the lap of a strange man in a disguise might not be such a good thing.

    “ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. — The Disney World worker accused of having child porn walked out of jail Friday afternoon, just hours after his arrest. Matthew Wendland dressed as The Beast and Goofy characters at the parks. Wendland is charged with 51 counts of child pornography.”

    it’s probably too late to sue over emotional trauma inflicted be merely seeing ‘ H.R. Pufnstuf On Ice’ … even a cursory look over the magical interwebs shows ‘ fear of costumed characters or amusement park mascots’ is far more prevalent than i imagined.

    so my ‘ kids’ won’t be going for that traditional mug shot with santa. ever.

    • Maynard says:

      Don’t get me started on Dr. Seuss. Is there any doubt what “Green Eggs & Ham” is really about? “Eat my green eggs and ham!” “No, I could never eat your green eggs and ham!” “Eat them, I tell you!” “No! Nice girls don’t eat green eggs and ham.” “Eat!” “No!” “Just a bite.” “Okay, maybe just this once.” I’ll leave the rest to imagination. Am I a degenerate, or are green eggs and ham a very thinly-veiled metaphor? (I suppose those two aren’t mutually exclusive.) Green, as in inexperienced? Eggs, as in huevos (plural, of course)? Ham as in pork or sausage? Do I have to spell it out? I hardly need mention that Dr. Seuss’s first book is entitled (I am not making this up) “The Pocket Book of Boners“.

      Is there something wrong with me?

      Oh, yeah, that thing about Pogo the Clown…as I’m sure you know, John Wayne Gacy was a Democrat activist, and there’s a famous photo of him standing next to Rosalynn Carter (Jimmy Carter’s wife), who was honoring him for his tireless work for the Democrats. Gacy is wearing a security tag supplied by the Secret Service. However, to balance the scales, Ted Bundy was a Republican.

      • jimmer says:

        Interesting observation(s) Maynard. If I may, I’ll include sport teams mascots with people who go just a little too far on the job. Not only with fans but in college, a lot of mascots fight each other and it isn’t all horseplay. I actually was ‘mugged’ by the local baseball team mascot. I was wearing the opposing teams hat and the mascot came up from behind, knocked off my hat and jumped on me. (The mascot ended up being a nice looking girl under the costume and I ended up with a kiss so…) : )

        Interesting about Dr Seuss! Never heard of that interpretation before!

        As for the Gacy and Bundy, I did know that. I think I have read most everything about serial killers. Now I’ll ask, is there something wrong with me?

      • thierry says:

        although bundy was a campaign aid for senator daniel j. evans (R,washington)- the man who laid down the blueprint for liberal enviro-nazi gestapo the EPA and fought desperately for more taxes for everyone- and also worked for the presidential run of notorious liberal nelson rockerfeller(R), it’s quite clear that theodore robert bundy was a classic northeastern (born in vermont) RINO and unlike sarah palin, intellectually curious and equipped with a ‘pork sausage’ thus fit to run for president of the united states.

        bundy also became a Mormon. he had very nice hair, hair that sometimes looked a lot like the fetching upsweep and back of willard mittenz romney. coincidence? i think not rather undisputed proven scientific fact that RINOs i.e. liberals are prone to killing people, especially women, but are personable enough to take home to mother or to sit in the oval office . or in the senate. and perverted enough to appeal to the debased sensitivities of the average voting liberal democrat, even one from massachusetts, like theodor seuss geisel (born springfield, MA). in a word: electable.

        and unlike pogo, ted liked girls so all the theocratic social conservatives could have gotten right behind him … or at least would have enjoyed commuting his death sentence and pardoning him.

        fairy tales never really were meant for children, were they? what are serial killers anyway- human monsters and monsters in fairy and folk tales serve the purpose of controlling segments of society through fear and dreadful consequence- what can happen if one steps outside of the norms of society. what do power hungry politicians become but the same sort of creature? and we are perpetually looking for someone to slay that dragon. more and more that dragon is looking like a bluebeard/bundy not some mythical gollum or rude hat wearing feline.

  4. morecowbell says:

    This has nothing to do with the post. I just found this funny and I cannot get the song out of my head.

    Will Ferrell, Love Me Sexy

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