Questionable observations by Maynard
I had a sense of déjà vu as I perused the reports of government assaults becoming SOP for vacation travels. Where have we heard this before?
And then I remembered! Disney characters!
A few years ago, Tigger was accused of fondling a young lady. He was subsequently acquitted of any criminal wrongdoing. (Videos of the incident, which I recall seeing (linked by Drudge at the time!), seem to have been excised from the Internet. Such is the power of The Mouse™)
This article notes that the same Tigger, transposed to a Goofy suit, was subsequently accused of “shoving” (is that what they call it?) a female photographer in the chest. It also reports that Winnie the Pooh was charged in a similar attack in 1981. Not to mention…
In 1976, a women filed a lawsuit claiming one of the Three Little Pigs ran up to her at the “It’s a Small World” attraction, grabbing at and fondling her, it supposedly exclaimed “Mommy! Mommy!” As a result, she claimed to have gained 50 pounds, seeking $150,000 in damages for assault and battery, false imprisonment, and humiliation.
Well, they may be Disney characters, and they may be little, but they’re still pigs. Even so, I hope this gal didn’t collect in court. I’ll side with pigs over lawyers any day.
Another Tigger incident gained national exposure when the character was caught on video punching a kid. The biased lamestream news report makes Tigger look like the bad guy, but this YouTube video breaks it down, hinting darkly that Tigger was set up.
What does all this mean? Darned if I know! Could be an evil conspiracy of crazed Disney characters. I mean, someone’s gotta be a bit kooky to take that job in the first place. Or at least that was the case in a good economy; these days even Maynard might contemplate putting on a Goofy suit. But I will note that being inside a full-body Disney costume places extreme restrictions on vision and motion, so one must allow a certain latitude for clumsy accidents.
By the way, you remember the recent flap when Disneyland was sued to allow a Muslim woman to wear a headscarf? Seems to me the solution to the complaint would be to allow modest employees to transfer to costume division. Let ’em cover up in a Minnie Mouse helmet, and underneath that you can wear the headscarf or go starkers for all anyone knows. Consider such haberdashery to be the Americanized version of the burqa. What reasonable person could possibly object to that resolution?