I like that they’re thinking ahead, but we better hatch a plan to deal with hostile and savage humans that are roaming the Earth first. Just saying.

Via Discovery.

Earth is a bountiful planet rich in resources. And, if you believe Stephen Hawking, that might cause our demise. Such alien alarmists compare first contact to the devastation Europeans brought to North America.

“We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet,” Hawking said back in 2010. “I imagine they might exist in massive ships … having used up all the resources from their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonize whatever planets they can reach.”

And, in a scientific paper that sounds like it came into the world scribbled on a barroom napkin, Columbia University’s David Kipping and Alex Teachey now propose that humanity could hide its presence from these hostile aliens — with lasers. Their paper, “A cloaking device for transiting planets,” was published online March 30 in the Monthly Notices of the Royal Astronomical Society.

As a consequence, it might take us less than a human life span to find out whether or not there are extraterrestrial astronomers who have found the Earth,” MPS astronomer René Heller recently said. “They may have detected Earth’s biogenic atmosphere and started to contact whoever is home.”

However, a hostile race of aliens could use that information to realize Earth is in a Goldilocks-perfect position for liquid water. Assuming these creatures had much better space-faring technology than humanity, they could then jump in their starships and come capture the place for themselves.

Thankfully, hiding from such horrific Xenomorphs really isn’t that complicated, according to Kipping and Teachey. To cloak ourselves, humanity could emit a continuous 30 megawatt laser for 10 hours, once a year, and block our transit signal. That would hide the dip in sunlight Earth makes as it passes in front of the sun from an alien’s eye view….


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  1. Maynard says:

    This is like closing the barn door long after the chickens have fled the coop. As usual, “experts” like Hawking live in ivory towers and have no idea what’s really going on. Aliens have been coming here for years. Fortunately, they’ve shown no particular interest in our abundant resources. They mainly come to eviscerate cows and eat their eyeballs, and occasionally to impregnate human females.

    These new DNA testing services will tell you what percentage of your genes is of extraterrestrial origin, and they’re evening starting to break it down into the various competing species…Beta Reticulans, Greys, Tralfamadorians, etc. You can use this as a basis to claim minority status and get special benefits to counter the “Earth privilege”.

    This reminds me…Andrew Basiago is an articulate gentleman who was been to Mars, and now he’s running for president. I think he’s a preferable choice over Vermin Supreme.

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