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A post by Maynard

Can we get some comic relief here? I don’t know about you guys and gals, but I need a break. The news is just too overwhelming. Looked at from the most dire point of view, it seems not impossible that George Bush will ultimately leave Iraq as a puppet, rather than an adversary, of a nuclear Iran. On the home front, after a failed attempt to reform Social Security, he’ll dump 20 million new resident aliens into the system, assuring that Social Security and Medicare will bankrupt the nation even sooner than had previously been projected. This on top of his unfunded trillion-dollar prescription drug giveaway program to seniors.

As if the foregoing weren’t bad enough, all of George Bush’s failings will be blamed on “conservatives”, and future voters will have a knee-jerk reaction against all things “conservative”. That George Bush is “conservative” is one of those facts that everybody knows, but if everybody didn’t already know it, I don’t know how they’d figure it out.

However…the foregoing comments are speculative, and history may play out in a more benign scenario. There is an ebb and flow to world events, and at some points the tide is moving against you and you’re not going to make much progress no matter what you do. It may turn out that George Bush has set us on a difficult but unavoidable course, as we re-orient to deal with global dependence upon a hostile and unstable Mid-East, as well as the rising power of China. There are treacherous waters ahead no matter who the captain is, and make no mistake about that.

My gosh, why did you let me get started on all that stuff? I promised comic relief, and now I’m wound up all over again Okay, here goes. Is everybody ready for a group hug? No, just kidding! We don’t need a hug; we need some cathartic violence! I’d like to beat up a politician (I’m speaking metaphorically; please don’t send the Secret Service to my door!), but there aren’t any politicians nearby. But beating on a telemarketer is almost as good!

Okay, first let me warn you that some may find the following humor offensive. Sensitive souls will avoid clicking the “more” button. For the rest of you who would like to spit food through your nose, follow me.

Comedian Tom Mabe seems to have developed a reputation for getting revenge on telemarketers. Here’s one of his efforts on YouTube.

(Is this genuine, or is it a hoax? Well, if it’s not real, then it should be!)

Jim Florentine (a self-described “recovering a–hole”) has also advanced his comedy career with his “Terrorizing Telemarketers” CDs. A couple of audio samples on his website include these telephone exchanges titled Contradiction and Threesome.

Do you feel better now?