10:45pm PT: Okay, what’s the deal with all the bad 80s music during the Parade of Nations? Is this all the Italians could think of? Perhaps they’ve had too much C-c-c-hianti (with some fffffava beans? 😉
Okay, the USA has entered–we’re cool. I do like the fact that Aretha Franklin singing “Freedom” is playing as we enter. Better than the “YMCA” by the Village People which just ended.
And First Lady Laura Bush looks great, she’s sitting with Cherie Blair of the UK.
The most disgusting moment was when Iran made its entrance. Why has a nation whose president has declared a desire to wipe another nation off the map allowed to participate? The Iranian people would be even more inclined to revolution if they were on a bit of the receiving end when it comes to repercussions for having a lunatic genocidal maniac as president.
And then, of course, because of the pesky alphabet, soon after Iran was Israel. Ugh. Imagine having to walk in the wake of a contingent from that country? Better that, I suppose, than having them at your back.
10:50pm PT: 80s music for Turkey–Barry White “You’re my Everything.” Ukraine gets Barry White, too. Ha! Hungary gets “Disco Inferno”! Haaaaaa!!!! Only if I had three Martinis would I have programmed this music. They need Tammy Radio’s Musicologist Freddy.
The Italians are marching now. I have to say, I was ready to say (and still will) mean things about all the money they give to terrorists and the Italian Red Cross helping Zarqawi get treated after he was injured in Iraq, but then I took a look and got distracted by some very attractive Italian women in their contingent. Let me watch for a minute and then I’ll return to reaming them for giving money to savages….
11:00pm PT: Well, the ceremony has begun. It already looks like Cirque du Soleil is in charge. Ooh, Supermodel Eva Herzigova is re-enacting a painting. Yep, aerie faerie, but thank goodness it’s Eva doing this and not some Hamas Babe.
Ugh! These sports guys need to stop trying to sound like they know about the renaissance! Creepy balloons….Sheesh, and for some reason I decided not to have a Martini tonight–Creepy–people are flying around on the balloons. Oh, they’re supposed to be the sun and the moon. Michelle Kwan looks bored. Eek! The sportguys says “It’s a salute to movement.” Zzzzzzzzz….
11:15pm PT: Now the technocrats are getting ready to speak. Blah, blah blah. Now with the Italian accents all I can think of is cannoli.
Oh yeah, and if the Italians are serious about perpetuating the idea of “peace” in the world, they can start by ending payments of ransom money to Islamic savages. Yoko Ono chimed in at the ceremony saying everyone should “think peace.” Yeah. The reason everyone can gather in Italy and enjoy the Olympics is because the US Marines don’t sit around and “think” peace, or “talk” about brotherhood, they go and face down murderous freaks who worship death and who laugh at the idea of “dialog” and “tolerance.” Their actions give us peace and brotherhood (and sisterhood, thank you) because they vanquish the enemy.
The thing keeping 21st century fascists away from everyone’s door is not Susan Sarandon, or Yoko Ono, the spelling out of the “peace” by acrobats, or even the beauty or Eva Herzigova–it’s the power of the US Military.
The president of Italy now declares the games officially open.
Oooh, a commercial for the movie “DaVinci Code” with Tom Hanks. This looks good. I know there are issues with the whole story, but it looks really well done. Comes out May 19.
Sophia Loren at 71 is bringing out the Olympic flag (she looks great) and here is Sarandon, as she’s some sort of UN something or other. The inclusion of Sarandon with women of note to bring out the flag is really preposterous. What a shame, but typical, I know.
Well, I really have to pack it in. Considering the news reports of what’s to come (including the Yoko Ono appearance) I think I’d rather read about the event than be subjected to it.
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer loved it all. Here’s their Big Wet Kiss report:
Bellissimo! From Pavarotti to Loren, a great start
Hooyah, Go USA, and nighty-night.
The previous Olympics were in Athens in 2004, right? If memory serves, the prevailing Iranian wrestler forfeited his competition because he had been matched against an Israeli wrestler. And somehow the Palestinians managed to send a team. Here’s a report. There was some mystery as to how this happened, because the Palestinians wouldn’t seem to be eligible, but you know how it goes. The team was wildly cheered, which is pretty weird considering the memory of the team they sent in 1972. Meanwhile the US atheletes were quiety advised, if they won, not to grab the flag and run a lap, because we were out of favor. Isn’t the world full of wonderful people? I was thinking we should sponsor a donation to the favorite charity of any US athelete who grabbed the flag and ran a lap. Anyway, I hope nothing equally interesting happens here. Best for all of us if it’s quiet and boring.
What?? No mention of Carla Bruni’s Armani dress?? WOW!!!!!! GO USA!!!!
I enjoyed reading your synopsis of the opening ceremony. When the US came out and they started playing “Freedom”, I thought it was wonderful. But they ruined it for me when Yoko Ono came out and did her little “think peace” thing. Totally ruined it for me, as well as Susan Sarandon being one of the women who helped carry the Olympic flag. Oh, and Pavarotti – I can’t forget him…that was a great way to end the ceremony! I had the pleasure of seeing him back in ’94 with the Three Tenors.
I’m still trying to figure out what the hell the eternal Black Widow (Yoko Ono) was doing there (who is looking more and more like a cartoon caricature of herself, I might add). Then the spectacle of Peter Gabriel single-handedly mutilating John Lennon’s “Imagine”. I didn’t know it was possible to take a song about Utopian optimism and turn it into a funeral dirge. No wonder Phil Collins ended up taking over most fronting duties with Genesis.
Was Eva Herzigova’s outfit awfully see-through – or was I seeing things? Let me check TiVo. It is, and I was!
Hmm. Pavoratti doing a terrible job of lip-synching. Creepy balloons, indeed – all apparently bearing the likeness of former “Mr. Mom” Michael Keaton. Well, something eerily similar, anyway.
On the plus side, the U.S. team got quite the ovation and the fireworks were awfully cool…
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I didn’t see any women from Iran in the parade of nations.
Your post is funny. I have been feeling so tense because I’m getting ready to move. I have to learn to relax more and not work myself to death.
When you talking about the bad 80’s music, it reminded me of a time I went out to dinner with a friend at a small asian restaurant, they were playing bad 80’s music. My friend was like this is really bad music, I said it’s not that bad. I spoke to soon because right after I said that Michael Bolton came on. Than I said to him ya this is really bad.
There was also this time when I was about 12 years old and I was in the mall with my friend and her mom. My friend wanted to buy a Michael Bolton Cd but, her mom was like you aren’t being him in our house.
I was like wow Jennifer your mom is really mad. The strange thing about that situation was Jennifer couldn’t bring Michael Bolton in the house but, her mom let us rent the exorcist.
I remember Jennifer was trying to explain to her mom that the exorcist was some kind of wholesome movie. I’m like Jennifer she is never going to buy that but, she did.
EML,
Dude, that was like, the most random post EVER!! Whatever your on, share some with me.
“Then the spectacle of Peter Gabriel single-handedly mutilating John Lennon’s “Imagine”.”
That communist anthem DESERVES to be mutilated. Catchy tune, yes, but come on.
I don’t usually catch the opening ceremonies to the olympic games, but I think this one was the strangest I’ve ever seen. I thought the lighting of the torch sequence was fairly inspired, but the sight of Yoko Ono made me leave the room. By the way, did she ever locate Kyoko?
Randomness:)
Although they’re not exactly playing my favorite 80’s music, isn’t Italy and it’s people beautiful? And the food … wow!
“Imagine” is seductively evil. It’s a powerful song, and it moves me because it expresses my most terrible fears. What if he’s right, and there’s nothing out there? Nothing but me, and nothing to aspire to beyond sating my appetites until I’m dead? Please, God, tell me it isn’t so! Tell me that You exist! Because if I’m all there is, then there’s almost nothing. And soon I’ll be dead, and then there really will be nothing at all. Please, let it not be so.
I wonder if John could “Imagine†Islam with “The Bomb�