A post by Pat
Pelosi to celebrate the big 7-0 on Friday
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) has a big birthday coming up on Friday, and after passing historic healthcare reform legislation this week, she’s got plenty to celebrate.
But while her office is remaining mum on the Speaker’s plans, the owner of Washington’s toniest gift shop has some great ideas for birthday presents.
Keith Lipert counts royalty, ambassadors, CEOs and members of Congress among the clients who come to his Georgetown shop for help deciding on the perfect, and most diplomatic, gifts. […] He advises to “consider asking a few people who admire her to inscribe a leather-bound Constitution, which only costs $20, thanking her for herservice.”
Whatever you do, Lipert said, have fun with it. “For birthdays you should give people something happy, not too official, and something that makes them smile when they open it.”
The Constitution does not make Nancy Pelosi happy. Maybe a leather-bound volume of The Communist Manifesto?
A cell mate!
Some asringent to…uh…loosen up that tight skin. Or maybe a one-way ticket to San Francisco in time for earth day.
Another face lift — maybe it will disappear entirely??
I think she should be given the “privilege” of participating in Obamacare like the rest of us “lucky” Royal subjects. That truly is the gift that keeps on giving.
A pink slip.
I would make her President for life in Haiti. She is so good at twisting arms, she’ll get that country into shape in no time flat. Since she is credited with being the only one of the trifecta (Obama and Reid being the others) to not go “squishy”, I know she would be up to strong arming the corrupt govenment officials there. They ain’t seen nothing like our Nancy. Of course, there is a history of voodoo there and she may frighten the poor folks who have probably never seen so much botox gone wrong.. Hmmm, on second thought, Haiti has suffered enough, maybe we should just send her home.
Since jap81 already is getting her a pink slip.. hmmm I suppose I could throw in a free ticket to Uncle Charlie’s Water(boarding) Park. Or, a one-way ticket to Havana… Or, maybe I can just do the Christmas gift and birthday gift at once, save me some time: a nice lump of coal.
How about a sizzling-hot copy of the Dante’s Inferno for the Paraffin Princessa?
Rent a biplane and dump a load of fertilizer on her house. She’s been dumping fertilizer on the American public since 2006 so it only seems fitting.
What would I give Nancy Pelosi for her birthday? Hmmmm, well, how about a fat lip? I was referring to a birthday botox, of course ; )
A clue.
Anything by Chairman Mao.
Quotations of Chairman Mao Zedong, aka The Little Red Book.
How about the very first gift subscription to join the United States of Tammy?
I’ll chip in!
A CD of “If I Had a Hammer (And Sickle)”
The privilege of paying her fair share of taxes… which she obviously doesn’t do or she’d be showing everyone her tax returns… so that her bank account is nearly emptied to the point that she’s living paycheck to paycheck just like many Americans in this down economy.
Attendance as a student in a course on leadership that includes things like, “leading by example.”
A storm of leaflets that contain the parts of the US Constitution… so that her residences in California and Washington, DC, as well as her office are filled to the brim… and the only way she could get through them is to actually read them.
Another birthday suggestion: astroturf for Nancy’s front lawn.
How about a free preventative colonoscopy?
A Boris Karloff television remake of NBC’s “Thriller” as a zombie?
If they would remake the Boris Karloff television series of “Thriller”, I would give Nancy Pelosi the zombie part. She would need no makeup!
Oh, this one is TOO simple. A gift that’ll make her smile when she opens it? A small mirror in a box, of course.
How ’bout therepy for her grandchildren? They’re gonna need it once the history books are written about this whole mess.
How about a do it yourself hara-kiri kit ? Nancy & Co. will be more that willing to hand them out to everyone over 60 with their new death-care plan. She’s already 10 years overdo. ~teri
Two things she REALLY needs! A Bible, and a copy of the Constitution.
But, I’m sure she’ll look at them and ask, “What are these things? I’ve never seen nor heard of them before.”
And don’t forget a copy of Cathecism of the Catholic Church. Oh wait. I’m sorry. Since she self-describes as an “ardent Catholic,” she has one already. It’s probably pretty dog-eared from extensive use.
Artist4Palin http://www.firenancypelosi.com/ http://www.firenancypelosi.com/ http://www.firenancypelosi.com/ lmao look at totals
a copy of the ‘mass psychology of fascism’ by wilhelm reich, an orgone accumulator for her and her unicorn, and a regifting: she can have my obamacare, the fruitcake of all of congress’ wonderful presents. enjoy!
oh and like the present of deathcare, the one receiving the gifts has to pay for them.
Under those conditions, how ’bout “free” lifetime care from The Gloved One’s MD?
Besides a beautiful bracelet (electronic of course) a day at Glenn Beck’s revival tour–you know, like a spa treatment!
I really want to give her a permanet commercial economy ticket between DC and SanFranciso! 😉
A kick in the Ass
For Nancy Pelosi….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpKOf99XE8U&feature=related
eternity in hell.
No duplicates – I think she already has that one.
How about a box of scented saddle soap. For that Oh-So Leathery skin?