I love these candies. Sometimes when I eat them, for some reason I always bite my cheek. Now that I think about it, maybe we should send some to the senate.
Michigan Woman Claims Starburst Candies Are Dangerously Chewy in Lawsuit
Starburst Fruit Chews are exactly as their name would indicate: chewy. But one Michigan woman says the candies are so chewy, they should come with a warning label. Victoria McArthur, of Romero, Mich., is suing Starbursts’ parent company, Mars Inc., for more than $25,000 for “permanent personal injuries” she claims she sustained after biting into one of their yellow candy in 2005.
“I don’t know, maybe about 3 chews and it literally locked my jaw … and it just literally pulled my jaw out of joint,” she told MyFoxDetroit.com…McArthur says she has had trouble chewing, talking and sleeping since the incident.
Yeah, we wouldn’t be in bad shape if certain senators had trouble chewing, talking and sleeping. Maybe they’d leave us alone for a while. Teddy could use that ‘trouble chewing’ part. But I suppose even with lock-jaw you can drink.
Let’s just put warning labels on everything:
Slurpee Cups- Warning: Temporary Brain Freeze. Do not be alarmed it will go away!!!
Match books- Warning: Striking this will cause fire, which will burn your fingers if you touch the flame.
Cookies-Warning: Eating too many of these can make you a potential candidate for type 2 diabetes.
Books-Warning: You might expand your horizons.
Voting Machines- Warning: Your vote might put a complete idiot in office.
Water Bottles- Warning: Drinking this will eventually fill your bladder causing the need to use a restroom.
Fertility Drugs- Warning: Use of this drug may lead to the birth of a human being who maay file a completely frivolous lawsuit in his/her adulthood.
Starburst needs to use that line in their new ads; “So chewy they need a warning label”, make a ton of money and tell this peabrain to pound sand.
I’ve been eating these things for years, what moron doesn’t know they aren’t “soft chews”.
If you want soft, then you go and get nature’s perfect food: Sunkist Fruit Gems. Yummmmmm
Maybe Starburst can replace the Clay Pigeons for Congress?
I ate Starburst for breakfast a few times.