UPDATED 4/14 with new, shocking (did I say shocking?) information: Now that California has solved all the world’s problems and has tons of extra, spare money and new unicorns and rainbows to hand out, Jerry Brown has launched a super-duper new Very Serious Investigation into Strawgate! Updates as this story continues to unfold, er, bend.**
All I can say is too bad the Pulitzers have already been awarded. Due to some extraordinary detective work done by students and the investigative courage of the Associated Press it has been revealed that Sarah Palin demanded ‘bendable straws’ along with water for a speech at a Cal State campus. Bendable straws? Can’t the woman use regular ones? Does her neck not bend? Never would I have guessed that she was that…helpless. Clearly, all of Palin’s energy (including whatever energy a person needs to be president) must be spent hiding the frightened little 8-year-old behind the facade of a smart, savvy and confident woman who, uh, might be president some day. I know that sounds complicated, but hey, the mind is an amazing thing. You could never imagine what twists and turns it could go through to cope with the, erm, bendable straw issue. What’s next? Flavored water? Jelly beans?!
I know we have the Bruce Rule about Palin–if some claim about her seems just way too crazy, it is and you are to completely dismiss it. But this…look, this may be the exception to the rule. I have no answers, no explanation. I’ve been waiting for a shoe to drop about her. Little did I know it would be a straw.
Strawgate. Who knew?
Calif. students find Palin contract in trash
The flare-up over Sarah Palin’s scheduled speech on a California State University campus has taken a twist after students discovered a portion of her confidential contract.
The document found in a campus Dumpster does not include her compensation for the June 25 speech to the CSU Stanislaus Foundation.
It does specify other requirements to be provided by the foundation, including round-trip, first-class airfare for two, a suite and two rooms at a deluxe hotel and transportation via SUVs or black town cars….It also requires that Palin’s lectern be stocked with water bottles and bendable straws.
The students say they acted on a tip that documents were being shredded inside the main administration building last Friday, a day that campus staff was supposed to be on furlough.
Acted on a tip? A bendable tip, I betcha!
UPDATE EXCLUSIVE: Hidden camera picture of an obviously frightened and desperate Palin reaching into a crowd of complete strangers frantic for a bendy straw. Or something. What?
Suddenly previously unknown and unseen secret pictures of Palin are coming out of the woodwork. I’ve just been sent this new shocking pic of Palin frantic for yet another bendy straw, shamelessly diving into a crowd of strangers. And look, people are so sweet they’re trying to help her by handing her one! Or maybe they’re just trying to touch her, but hey, it’s the same thing. Handshake. Bendy Straw. Whatever. Sweet God, when will it end?!
The media finds nothing newsworthy in Obama bending over for the Chinese, but Palin uses bendable straws?! Now that’s breaking news!
I’m willing to bet that since the contract was found in the trash that some leftist typed it up themselves, planted it there, picked it up, and called the media.
I agree. “Confidential” contract found in the trash. Yeah, right….
Excellent point, Kelly. Bendable straws vs. bendable President. No surprise which the media would find more newsworthy. But since they are making a big deal out of it… have you ever tried to drink bottled water with a straight straw? I have and it almost always falls down into the bottle and the only way to get it out is to dig into the top of the bottle with a finger and fish it out. My daughter always asks me to buy bendable straws and I always do for that reason, among others. Believe it or not, you can purchase a package of 50 – 100 of them at the $1 store for, yep, $1. How dare Sarah Palin insist on such extravagance.
She makes that skirt look so good, I’d buy her all the bendy straws she wants.
this is like all the president’s men except it’s not a movie! dear god who can we trust NOW!!!
:P
i want it to be true so i can see the lame stream media say “bendy-straw-gate” with a serious as a heart attack tone of voice. and then try to come to the defense to straight straws everywhere. they would be real conflicted about fairness to straight straws.
life, liberty and the pursuit of appropriate suction drink appliances!
rick
I love it :) Hilarious, just like crashing a rally that’s racist, homophobic and what else are we? to prove that we are racist, homophobic whatevers. What will they think of next?
Yikes – haven’t heard anything so scandelous since Sandy Berger stuffed his pants!
That’s it! This is the last straw! I can forgive her for supporting McCain, but this is just too much….I am heartbroken…I think I’ll go drink straight from a glass.
They say that this kind of thing is rather common. The fear is that if the bottle has no straw, you might spill it on yourself. If the straw is straight, you might poke yourself.
I have yet to actually see a bendy straw at any of her events. Methinks the contract is fairly a standard one, with maybe a few tweaks.
I simply must paste some of the comments I’ve read over at C4P. It’s a tad long, but good:
yogi41 - BendyStrawGate!
And not just any water…. UNOPENED water! Why not use a water hose, Sarah, like the good little “hick” that you are? / extreme sarc
New User - Can someone find me the famous “Kill all the rich people” speech Palin gave? I must have missed that one.
RINO-Hunter – She has a schedule to maintain. When somebody pays six figures for her to speak, she has to show up on time. First class = you don’t get bumped and put on standby if the flight is overbooked. And the first class clause only applies on the Anchorage to Seattle leg. Once she’s in the lower 48 and there are more travel options, she flies coach. At least according to this “document” they dug up, which may or may not even be authentic.
As far as the water and straws go, she specifies that the water be unopened because some Obama-worshipping libturd would poison it if it weren’t, and who the hell cares what kind of straw she uses? I don’t think it’s “elitist” to aks for water and a straw while giving a speech.
Allie – I used to fly round trip from Alaska to the East Coast about once a year and everytime I flew first class. It is a very long flight and uncomfortable otherwise. When my husband went to Alaska as a consultant for various companies his contract also stated First Class Travel for the same reason. As a matter of fact, whenever he travels as a consultant anywhere his contract states that he gets paid for ten hours per day that he is away from home (flight time is also included as a day away) unless there is a flat fee that was previously negotiated. That is standard. If the flight is less than four hours, then a coach fare is fine.
I wish these people would get some sort of life and if they are going to be so scrupulous in reporting their news then they should report everyone’s flight arrangements and/or speaking requests. I honestly do not blame her for requesting unopened bottles of water since I can just imagine someone putting ipecac or something in the water to embarrass her during her speech.
Lipstick AKA Speedchick – Well, I couldn’t help it so I am reading the contract. I am half way through and I hate to burst all of our bubbles but Palin has the GALL to request if she is seated on stage at a table that the table be skirted. Also, if there is a book signing, the table must be skirted. I don’t know about you but I think that is TOO much.
Come on Guv, your in a dress in front of an audience and you are MODEST enough to DEMAND tha table be skirted???
Get over yourself! /sarc
(I might add – Good thinking on the Gov’s part. Her skirts usually go to her knees, which means she’s got to sit with her legs together constantly. All it would take is for her to forget for a second and someone to snap a picture. Yikes!)
Lipstick AKA Speedchick – Hmmmmm. On page four it says for international events the Speaker reserves the right to visit privately with the host government’s Head Of State, Head of Government, Ministerial Officials and US Embassy.
I really see nothing in it that is a big deal at all. Actually I bet it is a standard type document that WSB uses for all its clients. They just put in a few details, I bet even the water and straws are standard. I teach school and I need to have a drink available in case I need it while talking a lot that day, if you are giving a speech I would say this is mandatory.
Also, I imagine the flight needs are standard too, but I bet many speakers are not willing to fly commericial as she is or even coach on certain occassions.
Much of the contract seems to be a no brainer to me, but you HAVE to put everything in writing or someone would book you flying stand by and send their teenager to the airport in the drifter car to pick you up and book you at the Easy Night Motel and leave you to walk next door to Chicken Express for dinner.
Besides, we are getting a fence soon. We may put it up ourselves but we are getting bids to have it turn key. If we have it done we will sign a contract, it is a private contract between someone providing us a service that we willingly want. Just like the guv.
Paddy Hugh of Oz – This is standard terms by any agency. I suspect “students rifling through dumpsters” is actually lefty-speak for “anklebiters downloaded a standard WSB terms pdf on the interweb”.
A funny thing among many, many other funny things throughout this, is that lefties actually boast about spending time in very large garbage bins.
yogi41 – Well, she certainly has to have some fun with this “scandal”. I hope tomorrow, while she’s speaking, she makes a point to take a long sip of water through a bendy straw.
RINO-Hunter – At her next speaking engagement, just to stir the pot, she should drink Cristal from the bottle through one of those twisty crazy-straws.
(A “Rogue” elephant straw – http://www.birthdayinabox.com/search/productdetail.asp?BTID=6&site_tab_id=2&tab_cat_id=8&prodsku=8779&keyword=elephant%20straw )
Man….when Tammy gets her snark on, it’s a thing of beauty.
Hilarious.
Boy, some students are really grasping at straws trying to get the university to cancel on Sarah. I just saw a news story on this and they only mentioned a jet and hotel suites. However, they said this does not violate university laws (as the students were hoping) because they will be paid for with private donations.
Yeah, they’re grasping at straws, and that sucks!
(Sorry, but somebody had to say it.)
It’s okay Maynard, hmmm I think this might even be considered a straw man argument. : )
Good one Maynard, shamelessly corny but good! LOL!!! :)
Straw = scarecrow brains. Short straw – Camel’s back. ChuckleWOOF to above.
In light of this news I am surprised she did not win the recent straw poll New Orleans!
Comment on Hot Air:
I’ve done a lot of public speaking and I prefer bottled water and bendable straws too. Accidental spills are much less likely, and the bend in the straw keeps it from sinking too far down into the bottle.
Was that the best example of an elaborate demand that they could come up with?
We , of the straight straw community, hereby withdraw, all support for the candidate, if she should ever run. We have been maligned as being to stiff or unbending for to long. Scenes like this only reinforce the stereotypes which we have been for so many years fighting against. So with deep regret, we pull out all of our votes. She will soon regret this outrage when she sees all three of our votes ripped from the election! (Well…OK, two votes, unless mother dies. Then I will definitely not vote for her. I’ll go with that nice old guy she used to hang out with. I hear he even takes out his teeth when he uses a straight straw!)
[...] Tammy Bruce New Palin scandal: Strawgate [...]
Sarah doesn’t drink from straight straws? Gosh, has our Sarah just been “outted?”
But thank G-d for Urkel and his Summit! Now that Ukraine will be giving their uranium to the U.S. for safekeeping, we can all sleep well, knowing that World Peace is at hand. And, added Summit bonus: South Korea agreed to host the next Summit, in two years!!!! Isn’t that FANTASTIC!? Come one, everyone, let’s all hold hands: “Someone’s singin’, Lord, Kumbaya…”
This nonstory has so many angles which make it fascinating. First, students scavenging for trash: don’t they have anything better to do, like say, study? Then AG Jerry Brown (aka Moonbeam) issuing a statement: “This is not about Sarah Palin. The issues are public disclosure and financial accountability in organizations embedded in state-run universities.” Aren’t there more important matters to be concerned as an attorney general, especially in California, rather than dealing with the contract of a university with a private citizen? Third, the brouhaha about the demands of the contract. One that drew my attention was “must be provided with a suite and two single rooms in a deluxe hotel near the campus in Turlock in the Central Valley.” As far as I know, the only “deluxe” hotel in Turlock by name is the Deluxe Inn in Modesto, a cheapo motel. Probably the best hotel in the area (not counting Stockton) is the Marriott Courtyard in Modesto, and that’s not a deluxe hotel by any means. So to me deluxe means business-type hotel, not a 5 star hotel. There’s a nice Sheraton in Stockton, but that’s like an hour away. So the demands are much ado about nothing.
All-in-all, what’s the big deal? This goes hand-in-hand with Crowley’s story about how much Sarah is making.
Has anyone seen the demands of Al Gore? Or better yet, has anyone seen Al Gore? :-)
Tammy, ABC has the aforementioned addendum to Palin’s contract. Here is the link. As you can see, and as you know from your experience as a speaker, there is nothing out of the ordinary here.
Palin Contract Addendum
If she demanded crack, I’d get worried – get a life, MSM. Sheeeeesh!
If they’re out of ideas, I can suggest just a few other things to occupy their time…mmm, legislative pork, bribes for votes on ObaMao DeathCare, how POTUS is selling out US sovereignty to the UN and other foreign entities — but that’s just a start.
The horror!!! Chrissy, Olby and the rest of the MSLSD crowd are going to go utterly straw crazy over this latest drama!!
I want to get a Palin pin to wear. Just because of this politically motivated assault on a couple, by a bunch of creeps who saw the pin.
http://gatewaypundit.firstthings.com/2010/04/gop-official-boyfriend-savagely-beaten-for-wearing-palin-pins-including-broken-leg-jaw-concussion-media-silent/
http://michellemalkin.com/2010/04/13/a-cautionary-note-about-the-beating-in-new-orleans/
Now I’m not sure if a Palin pin was involved. ??
I also want an Palin pin where can I get one?
OK. Isn’t the state of California on the brink of economic collapse? So why the hell is the State Attorney General, Jerry Brown, aka Governor “Moonbeam,” willing to waste taxpayer moola just to verify if Sarah Palin’s speaker fee was actually used for its intended purpose? And not used to cater to Palin’s “diva” demands.
[cricket sounds]
Mmmm-ka-ay
I wanted to give some props to CSU Stanislaus President Hamid Shirvani for this statement:
“This is not about how much money we’re paying Gov. Palin. This is about political ideology. If we had invited Michael Moore or Al Gore, we’d have nobody asking how much money we’re paying them.”
I must admit that I’m shocked. I never expect to hear rational statements for anyone in academia, especially here in California. Well done, President Shirvani.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/04/15/BAG31CUTIO.DTL